It's that classroom moment when you slowly see sanity slipping out of your control because suddenly a child can't go to the bathroom in that last fifteen minutes or get in without a pass, and she doesn't like your call. It's that minivan moment when one child's immediate needs can't be fulfilled amidst changing the Wheels on the Bus song during changing lanes, while sipping your coffee, and attempting trying to make a phone call (okay, so not all at once), and that kid wants to argue with you or complain. That feeling of dread begins to seep into the pit of your stomach, actually adrenaline in your brain to be exact, and you prepare to win the fight with whatever tools necessary.
But what if...there were magic words that might be your saving grace, your powerful sword pulled from the impossible stone? What if there were a way to go home more rested instead of exhausted because you didn't spend your time engaged in teenage spiffs? What if it were really possible to not lose as much classtime on that student who thinks he just signed a contract with Rotten Tomatoes to review your classroom like a movie? Well, in fact, maybe there is a way to overcome that adrenaline coursing your veins that expends your energy supply and instead use effortless logic to overcome a child's argumentative nature, a part of character development. So what do we often hear from students when they want to continue being kids, continue not doing work, or really, just continuing to do what they want to do? Here are some familiar words that attempt argument: "But look at what he was doing; It wasn't me; This is boring; You are sickening; This is too much; But he...; But she...; But I need it to...; you don't like me; you're "annoying me." I'm sure your list of phrases is even more detailed that that, but the point of the matter remains; kids have arguing words, and perhaps stronger ones than we, especially when it's important to keep it professional as educators. Get to the point and reveal the words, right? When you hear these "fighting" words from your students, in your own way when the child makes up any one of these excuses or others, use the magic words, or your version of the magic words boringly, without tone, and without sarcasm, and if you're especially good, with empathy, which means understanding where that student may be coming from that morning. And the words? Just a simple "I know" in response to diffuse the situation. And if you're asking the student to respond with an action and they're not? Just a simple, " I know...but what did I say?" will work some magic for you. If you have your own version of the words, that will neutralize the argument, feel free to share below. If you'd like to read more about this successful approach to diffusing arguments, feel free to pick up a copy of Teaching with Love and Logic by Jim Faye.
2 Comments
Michael Oliver
3/16/2017 08:52:54 am
Or the infamous shout from the back of the classroom from my 1st semester..."Mr. Oliver, you're boring me!" Would love to see some other teachers' suggestions and tried and true approaches in the comments here...This is a very relevant post, thank you Ms. Evans (If you're the one who posted this)!
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LaTonya Brown
3/16/2017 09:29:00 am
My "foggers",as I would like to call them, are the following:
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